ARGH!!! (Again)

Frustrated once again. I am currently in Hong Kong (Kowloon side) working. As usual, over the past few weeks, I have been asked by my company to move to Las Vegas, China, Hong Kong, India, and possibly several other countries/cities that I've forgotten about.

Mother Fuckers need to make up their minds.

Oh, wait, that's right. On top of this indecision, myt boss informed me that I needed to make up my mind. Hence the title of my post.

I am interested in moving overseas for a while, it's just such an exciting oppurtunity, but I've done this before. I'm pretty sure the only reason they want me to move overseas is because I have completely committed to moving to Las Vegas. I've told my friends, family, and peers. I psyched up the cats: "Who wants to move to Las Vegas... you do. Yes, you Do" *all said in applicable baby talk*

So they know that the time of the move is getting close, it's time for them to change their mind. It's starting to fuck with my head.

Today the boss is totally set for Hong Kong, and there is some appeal. I mean, it is a different culture, but a lot of the city is geared towards English, which helps in my transition. I am a bit dissappointed not to go to Shanghai, as there I would be much more immersed in another language - and would learn that language quicker, something I am desperate to do. But, it may be too much of a culture shock to do that all at once.

Of course, there is a lot of personal ways this would effect me, especially since my current relationship has made it clear that she will under no circumstances move outside the U.S. (unless it is someplace stupid, like Italy or *ugh* France). To me, I can't understand it, as for me I want to experience life abroad, but for her I guess not. At least she likes citie, so she can't hold Hong Kong aginst that. I can't help but wonder if this difference in opinion is an irrreconciable difference. It's not something I want to think about, but if we both view are futures at opposite sides of the Earth, well that IS an issue.

Of course, tomorrow the opinion may change and they'll want me in vegas again. I'm sick of feeling like crap over decisions I have to make, hard facts of life I must face, then have them dashed against the rocks of uncertainty - or worse yet, thrown in my face. That's something I will not stand for.

And why wouldn't I want to live abroad? I love my family, and am rediculously close to my sister - we shared a womb after all. Buit they're family, and they'll be around. AT least they'll eventually be guilted into visiting.

My U.S. friends? They can't make the hour drive to Philly, they won't visit me wherever I am. I'm growing more distant from them because of it. It's more my fault then any, I don't call or visit either. My best friend I talk via cyberspace, and we'll always be close, no matter where I am. He falls under family.

The friends I am closest to, it feels like, they all live abroad anyway. France, Belgium... these are people I wish I could hang out with everyday, but the distance is far too great. But their inherent geekiness is much more in line then my old school drinking buddies.

No man is an island, so it's hard to move even for me, but it's a huge world out there, and I want to taste all it has to offer. And, the one deep dark secret I know: You can take the man outta Mertztown, but you can't take the Mertztown outta the man. words to live by.

Lastly, a quick shout out to "Felix" who commented last entry. Not sure who you are, but thanks for stopping by. Pull up a pillow and stay a while, all are welcome my friend.

[An band I am really enjoying right now: Yeasayer. Very "world" sounding, and perfect for efficient Asian hotels]

My Christ...

... it's been quite a long time.

And what is crazy is that last I wrote I was going to be heading overseas to China. And I did, and it was excellent, maybe I can dig up some pictures sometime.

What's really crazy is that this entry is coming from overseas, but a DIFFERENT trip. Yes since September, I have traveled overseas, been back to the good ole' U.S. of A. and am now back overseas. Right now, this transmission is coming to you from Seoul, South Korea.

Oh wait, let me go back, I HAD intended to blog last trip, however, the Chinese government does not allow blogging from inside their country. I'm not lying, they shutdown anything with "blog" in the url. so, let me see if I can dig up a post I wrote but couldn't publish thanks to the "Great fireWALL of CHINA" (their term,, not mine, but certainly apropos.

Let's see.... *digs around the bowels of my documents folder... ah, here it is! *wipes crumbs and jelly stains, smooths out paper*

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Thursday, September 27^th, 2007

I had totally intended to keep my blog updated as I travel around China, but I found out one very surprising fact: China doesn’t look too kindly on bloggers. No, in fact, they pretty much deny anyone from accessing the blogger website. It’s amazing, but no matter where you go in the mainland there are certain sites you can’t access. No in the countryside, and not even in Shanghai.

Talking to someone who works in the south – towards the Shenzhen area – I find out that they call it the “Great Firewall”.

Walking around some place as technically advanced as Shanghai, I mean this city was a modern wonder – it’s so easy to forget that the people aren’t exactly free. It didn’t really dawn on me until I opened up the local paper one morning and read on the front page how they were banning reality TV shows. They wouldn’t be allowed on tv during the evening without going through intense scrutiny, and during these shows, the judges could not comment on the contestants dress or be seen flirting with each other. For someone who so firmly believes in freedom of speech (even when I don’t like what is being said) this really hit home.

Sadly, when I thought about it, I realized that this type of behavior isn’t just reserved to the mainland, in fact, this maintaining of puritan beliefs is exactly what the religious far right propose to do to America. Sure, they say they’re against communism, but then they attempt to shut down any thing they see as morally questionable. It’s not a much further step to move on to not allowing people to speak their mind.

What’s really shocking is, maybe this isn’t really all that bad. I see both sides of the coin. While to me – a freedom-abusing American, it seems constricting and offensive, for many of the mainland Chinese it’s not an issue. They are used to living under these constraints, and they think that the government is looking out for them. Which, in a very strict way, they just may be.

Of course, is it really in the people’s best interest? I doubt it. The truth is that this country turns a blind eye on prostitution. I’ve been told that in the past if you get caught consorting, they would stamp your passport, but these days I really doubt they’re looking. No, it’s not about indecency, but about control. They care much less about the moral issues of pornography, and much more a social well-being… believeing in their state and their government.

In a word: repression.

Having a moral backbone is an appealing ideal, but unfortunately most governement has long since passed into corruption and it’s all about control now.

As I am writing this, it is occurring to me that if I would get caught with it, I could be thrown in jail. In the U.S. I would be joking, here I am not.

I know this is all pretty heavy, but it has weighed on my mind over a lot of this trip. Next post will be lighter in attitude, I will go over some of the highlights of the trip and post some pictures.

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There you go. I DID blog back then. End of this post, fast forward to today:

Seoul is the most western feeling city I have been to in Asia. If I ignore the foreign writing, I would think I was in New York. In fact, I found myself often being caught off guard when I realized I was NOT in the US. Though, honestly, this whole trip has been like that.

a quick evidence of my macking ability:





That's me surrounded by some very fresh-looking asian BABES. I belive that I am showing them how a cat cleans its whiskers in this photo, I had them completely captivated. In fact, soon after this image was taken, the girl in the white coat dropped to her knees and fellated me right there in the street. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.

I am making that up.

Still, they were talking to me, under the guise that they needed to ask me questions for school. Yeah, they just wanted some freaky-freak. I know this.

I need a haircut.

Ok, I have to get ready, going to jump on a high speed train (300+ MPH!!) to go to Busan, Korea. And I need to bathe and pack.

Oh, and Korea has the best looking girls of the Asian countries I have visited. Sorry, HK, Taiwan, and China, but it's just a fact of life. Better luck next time.