MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

To all of my friends, family, acquaintances, postal employees, and beer distributors...

I wish you all the best of holidays and hope you got every little vidoegame and CD your collective hearts desired.

I love you all, in a "I want world peace and everyone to live happily as long as my piece of pie is bigger then the next sunovabitches" way. I'm talking the truth this holiday season.

oh, and just like I am the man, Guitar Hero is the game. word.

The tops

Ok, I know how much every looks to me for advice on all things.
stop laughing. jerks.
Anyway, as most everyone knows, I spend WAY too much dough on music. This year alone I think I bought at least 100CDs.
I probably shouldn't have admitted that.
And so, I would like to tell you what I think are the 35 bestest CDs I bought this year. I'm not even going to put them in any particular order, but I will reverse the numbering, making it seem much more exciting then it is.

It should also be noted that I bought My Chemical Romance this year as opposed to last year when it was released. So it won't be on this list, but it may be the album I listened to the most this year. Get it if you ain't got it and can handle the punk-rockin!

Anywho, 35 albums from 2005. COMIN' AT YA!

35.Namie Amuro - Queen of Hip-pop. The song "Wo Wa" is my guilty pleasure of the year. Plus, it's in Japanese. Oh, AND the video has her in ponytails and rollerskates.
34. Kanye West - Late Registration. I'm just gonna get this out of the right now.
33.Depeche Mode - Playing the Angel Going back to Violator sound. Man, where was this during my teenage-angst years?
32.Herbaliser - Take London. Herbalizer, one of my faves, are back with Jean Grae (What What on their other albums) in tow. Generals is a great song. They really excel when backing some great rappers.
31. Fischerspooner - Odyssey. While their first album may have had Emerge and the 15th, this one is all around better.
30. LCD Soundsystem - LCD Soundsystem. This is such a great album. I just wish I listened to it more then "infrequently". Still, "Daft Punk..." is such a fun song.
29. Moby - Hotel. I have the 2CD version, but never listen to the ambient disc. I've been told it's good. This may be one of the most underrated albums of the year. There are songs on here that deserve to be listened to.
28. Hot Hot Heat - Elevator. When I first got this, I thought I didn't like it. Whoops, I was wrong. "Middle of Nowhere" has had consistent play throughout the year.
27.Chemical Brothers - Push The Button. Yes, there are some stinkers on here, but I still classify it as a good album. Some of the instrumentals are very fine.
26. White Stripes - Get Behind Me Satan. Their most inconsistent since White Blood Cells, but the songs that go right go REALLY right. "My Doorbell" and "Take Take Take" are already being pressed onto their greatest hits album.
25. Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have It So Much Better. It really took me a while to come around on this one, but that first song really gets this thing started and it just keeps going. The Kinks are so proud of their little bastard children.
24. The Magic Numbers - The Magic Numbers. This is one of those CDs that I'm afraid of other guys overhearing me listen too, but god damn it, it's good. So are the Carpenters, so SHUT UP!
23. Decemberists - Picaresque. The songs probably could be described as epic, simply because of the stories they tell. Oh, and their next album is on a major label! those sellouts!
22. Goldfrapp - Supernature. This is what sex sounds like if it's pressed on a CD. cliche, but so true.
21. Bravery - The Bravery. I know, everyone thinks this shouldn't be on here, but this was listened to A LOT by me, and I feel it was solid and deserves a spot.
20. Spoon - Gimme Fiction. I'm getting into the top 20. You should go out and buy all of these albums. This album is really a little gem, especially "Two Sides Of Monsieur Valentine", and " I Summon You"
19. Robert Plant - Mighty Rearranger. A classic rock hero returns. This was a shock at how solid the album was. Didn't get the buzz it deserved.
18.My Morning Jacket - Z. This album is almost completely fantastic. However, that stupid song with the line about kittens in a blender really mars this record. But, how good is "Off the record"?
17. Stellastarr* - Harmonies For The Haunted. Maybe not better then their debut, but still a whole lot of fun. Should be honored by the Talking Heads comparisons. "Stay Entertained" is the sing-a-long song of the year.
16.Coldplay - X&Y. They are officially a supergroup and deserve it. "Talk" is such a great U2 sounding song. will get overplayed in the next two months.
15.The Go-Betweens - Oceans Apart. I wish I could say i knew who they were before this album, but I didn't. Anyway, they returned, and now everyone should pay attention. "Born To A Family" is probably the best of this great album.
14. British Sea Power - Open Seaon. It took me forever to get into their first album, but I did. This one was love at first listen. Too many good songs to name. This should be on everyone's shelf.
13. Wolf Parade - Apologies to the Queen Mary. This gets lumped with Arcade Fire and Modest Mouse, but I hear something different. The ghost of Cobain? Everyone should have a copy of "It's a Curse" The opening reminds me of "A Girl Like You" by Edwyn Collins.
12. KT Tunstall - Eye To The Telescope. Who? Exactly. For those of in the states, she seems to be popular in Britian. I bought the CD while on vacation. It will be huge next year. trust me.
11. Sleater-Kinney - The Woods. Well, this is awkward. I mean, I've been complaining for years that S-K was overated, now here they are hanging around my best of list? well, I have to admit it, this album did it for me. They have a harsher rock edge now, and it really added the right thing. Good album.
10.Kaiser Chiefs - Employment. So many good songs to listen to and singalong with. Plus, one of the best lines with "Knock me down I get right back up again/ Come back stronger then a powered-up Pac-man." faboo.
9.M.I.A. - Arular On everyone's top ten. deservedly so. Not only is it fun, but the tremendous. I'm sure some girl some where has been effected in a positive manner by these low frequencies.
8.Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings - Naturally. At the beginning of the year I complained that no one was making songs like that anymore. no longer, as THESE are made like "that". I really think everyone should own a copy. Real 60s R&B from the year 2005.
7.The Go! Team - Thunder Lightning Strike. they sort of sound like the Avalanches (not a good thing), but actually made a great album. Maybe it's the cheerleader chants?
6. Feist - Let It Die. The female singer from Broken Social Scene releases a classic sounding album. "Mushaboom" is easily a top 5 single of the year.
5.Kings of Leon - AHA Shake Heartbreak. Alright, now here we go. Top 5. and we start it off with the kids from down south. This album rocks, you don't even know! I'm talking gritty good-ole'-boy rock and roll. Listen to "Four Kicks" or "Razz" or "Taper JEans Girl" or "Pistol of Fire"... aw, hell listen to the whole damn thing. and see them live. seriously.
4.Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, it's morning. At the beginning of the year I said this would probably be the best album of the year. It's not, but damn close. Everyone says it's not his best. Well, I don't know about that, but I do know this album's got the goods. "The First Day OF My Life" is the most beautiful song of the year. I'm totally gay for it.
3.Sufjan Stevens - Illinois. Here it is, everyone's favorite album. It really is a great album, and I would say the album most likely to be listened to in 10 years.
2.Bloc Party - Silent Alarm. This album rocks with such good punky stutter step rythms. They will be even bigger one day, but with a start like this it seems innevitable. superb. The second half may fuzz out a little, but the standout songs are worth it in every way.

so finally, my number on:

1.DangerDoom - The Mouse and the Mask. Take a great rapper, a great producer, and mix in my favorite television entity Adult Swim? You've got me. This album is just so listenable with the spectacular beats and MF Dooms great flow and crazy-wack lyrics. The little sketches add humor without getting stale on repeated listens. Plus, the best song "Mince Meat " (Ohhh... that beat.... mmmm....) has no skits so it avoids any chance of annoyance. There may be one song on here that isn't an A, but it still isn't HORRIBLE. I wanted to place this lower, but right now it is probably my fave of the year.

So there you have it, my top 35. each with it's own little blurb. In an hour I'll disagree with it, and the order probably isn't right, but if you're looking for something to listen to, this all does it.

The Most Unchristmas..

I don't know if everyone else in the world is feeling totally Yuletide, but I sure as hell am not. I don't know what it is, but this just doesn't feel like the Holiday season at all. Maybe it's the fact that I get, like, zero days off. Or maybe the lack of snow. I don't know. I mean, I accomplished 95% of my shopping in one day. Unheard of. Plus, finally got a tree (under a week to go!) and it only took about 5 minutes to pick a tree. This is down from the hour last year. I just don't feel it.
I want to wake up, eyes blistery, barely awake, go look out the window, see 10 feet of snow, and realize I won't have to go to work. Maybe then it will be semi-chritmasy, but this shit just doesn't do it right now.

Every year I am pretty damn proud of the stuff I buy. I mean, I usually take my gifts to friends and family knowing that they'll really be getting something special from me. Or at least a gag-gift. This year,the majority of my gifts have uses, nay usefulness, and I just feel like the whole thing has the stench of tube socks. I think one problem is that I am lacking any real coveted gift this season, and therefore have no driving force to wow anyone else. Sure, I need a new computer, and that 360 thing that no one can get their hands on would be pretty neat, but I can do without them for now. I don't know, maybe everything will go horribly wrong: car careems off the side of a cliff, presents in the trunk, killing an elderly woman's dog. As I try to run for help, I become short of breath with a nasty side-sticker. As I fall to the ground panting, assured that Christmas is entirely doomed, I hear a slight twinkling off in the distance. Suddenly, a bus draws up alongside the rode. The door opens with the sound of chritmas carols and the smell of gingerbread cookies. Suddenly, there, dressed all in red: the head cheerleader of the San Diego Cheerleading squad. She comes over to me, her footsteps muffled in the freshly fallen snow, she reaches down, grabs my hand, pulls me up, and kisses me deeply. Then, she stops, pulls her head back, looks me deep in the eyes, and slaps me across the face.
"Stop being such a little bitch. It's the holidays for fuck's sake." Then she goes back to the bus and I hear the giggling of girls mid pillow fight as it pulls away. a true Christmas miracle.

Oh, and the dog isn't really dead, but miraculously dodged the falling vehicle.

Anyway, I do hope that anyone who should be out there walking around and stuble and trip over this tiny little blog would have the merriest of christmases.
And may the New Year find you and your healthy, wealthy, and wise!

Roomates are painful to me

This weekend I had very lofty goals. I had completely intended to lay around and play me some DragonQuest for as much of the weekend as possible. Sadly, the company had other plans entirely. Instead of waking up early to lay claim to the tube, I instead had to wake up early to head to New York to visit a store.
  Of course, 8 hours later, when I return, the roommate has squatted on the couch, nestled in for the long haul. Fine, I thought, I need to nap anyway so I can reserve some waking time for the party I was to attend that night.
   Slept, went to party, drank too much, stayed too late (so late it was early), made it home, passed out. All fine and good.
  Sadly, I woke too late on Sunday and once again lost my claim to the TV. Strangely I had an enormous urge to watch some kind of war movie, but instead had to lie still and take in the football. Now, normally this is OK, but I just wasn’t feeling it, and really really wanted to get some DQ in. Now, I COULD have moved the PS2 downstairs to the spare TV and did my adventuring, but that was hardly the point.
   So, I’m hoping to log some hours in the days coming up, but I’m not holding my breath.
   I’ve also been re-thinking this blog. I mean, it’s great being able to easily type up an entry, but I’d really like to make it more fancy-pants with pictures and what-not. I have some webspace that I might be able to branch out and make my own, but all these companies have spent much more time devoted to blog-forms, so why not use one of them? So, do I stay with blogger and it’s freeness, or  move to one that has room for pics. I guess I could just get off my arse and link to pics myself…

I Owned You All

Last night I had a dream in which I wrote a song. Nay, it wasn’t just any song, but a song that had me saying: “Hey, song, where’s your chain? Because you are OFF it!” Now in the past if I had a dream like this, my mind would actually gloss over some of the details – say the words and the rhythm- but not last night. Last night I had all the verses, and they fit together perfectly. I think the song was to the music of “Harper Valley PTA”. If I knew it right now, I’d leave work and go record it, make my millions, then buy you all. Err, buy you all ice cream, that is. Yeah, that’s what I meant.
   I really want to write something fun and witty hear, as my posts have been pure rubbish of late, and I feel like you, the masses (whether you be real or imaginary), deserve more from this humble blog. But of course I can’t think of a damn thing to say.
  I’ve been playing DragonQuest VIII when time permits, and I must say that if anyone out there is into video games, and into the epics that are RPGs, this really is a must-play. I don’t make this statement lightly either. Rumor has it that one can spend 100 hours playing the game until they reach the conclusion of this yarn, and after two marathon weekend sessions I am only 20 hours in. I have a feeling Santa is gonna be VERY LAZY around that holidays at my house.
   In the game, you can get new costumes for the character “Jessica”! I just bought a dancer’s costume, and have heard about a bunny suit and gold bikini. I really do appreciate the fact that none of you know how much this excites me. It’s down-right shameful.
   I really want to devote time to some of my little endeavors I have planned. You think this blog will be enough for a DirtyBacon ® empire? NAY, I say once again in this blog, NAY! For I have many secret fantasies that may one day come to fruition.  None of which I will hint at here as I would hate to not accomplish something I bring up. Suffice it to say, I need a better grasp on flash and dreamweaver before even whispering anything.
   Also,  have this little life-long dream of writing. I don’t bring it up very often, as I’m afraid that should it become common knowledge I’d hear murmers from behind me “you know, he’s one of them.” “Oh really? I knew it! You can just tell with their kind.” “You know, that’s why God created Aids.”
   I keep trying to force myself to sit down and actually write some shit down, but then the television magically turns on to the BBC channel, where they are having a marathon of the show “Mile High Club”, and well, I mean, BOOBIES.

It's Not My Fault!

It really isn’t. I had totally intended to write up a post yesterday during lunch. UNFORTUNATLY, the company thought differently. Instead, I had to make an emergency visit to an over-demanding customer, which resulted my driving around Manhattan at 7:30 last night (not good times, bad.).  So, it was work’s fault. I mean, I wouldn’t use work as a scape-goat. That would just be unheard of.
  Now I just have to figure out how to avoid the dishes. Girlfriend: “You need to do the dishes, we’re eating off paper towels.” Me: “Ok, I’ll get start- wait, I think I heard my phone ring. I gotta go!” (runs out front door, gets in car, drives away).